thanks

Yes, I knew everything gonna happen this way in the begining,
now it's like this,
and I can't do a thing about it... life is just damn...

Trying my best to live like before,
Smile like always,
talkative, hyper-active...

even though there's time where I might still need to stay quiet.
to concentrate thinking what else that I should do to stay strong.

Friends...? I was blind before.
But I'm not now,
I just found out that, there're still some of my friends that always with me,
even though I always just damn doesn't care about any of my friends sometimes,
I hate this me sometimes, I should'd treat my friends better...

thanks, to all passers-by,
thanks, to those that likes me.
thanks, to my friends,
thanks, to those that hate me,
thanks, everyone...

My father is having High-blood pressure,
I'm not a doctor, can't do a thing about it.
feeling useless when I can't do any help about this situation...
am worried... and hoping that I won't cause any burden to him.
I will try my best to keep myself up, won't be asking for money.
thanks...

RyoichiZB

Regrets...?

If we can return back to the time where she doesn't know anything,
I won't say that any more.

That's the reason that changes everything,
I hate everything happen this way.

I failed.
Yeah, I've failed.
It's the first time ever I drop till this point.
It's the first time ever I felt this disappointment.

I regret every path that I've taken,
I hate this kind of me surviving in this planet.
Sometimes it felt like the world would be better if I disappeared.

I think my body can't withstand to these any more.
My nose, heart-beat and even my stomach is not like before any more.
I hate the way I talk.
I hate the eyesight from everyone.

Seriously, I wasn't trying to be cocky or what.
To tell the truth, I'm jealous.
I'm jealous to the way she treated any one besides me.
yeah, ANY one.
Maybe, I'm just damn tired.

Perhaps making myself away from anything about her it's better.
But no matter how much she hate me,
I can't change the fact I fall for her.

I hate my life being this way.
FML

whenever she is away, I felt like "foreveralone.jpg"
accidentally fell too deep making me tired.


RyoichiZB

我到底怎么了？

有时还真的蛮希望自己再笨一点…

可是我能做的只是装笨…

明明就是知道，却假装不知道…

然后特地去问一些问题来看对方会不会说谎，

原来我那么的不相信别人。

不管是谁都好。

也许是因为曾经被骗。

也许是因为曾经受伤。

天蝎的第六感最强？

关于这方面我还蛮信的。

没有心情去聊天，

也没有心情去做功课，

很想把所有的事都放弃。

我压力很大吗？

但是当我认真去想的时候，

还有很多比我压力更大的人坚持着。

一直说要搬家，

都不知道搬得成吗……

已经卖了，但买的还没拿到，

会不会就这样无家呢？

努力的把身体弄得健康点，

但好像越来越差了。

难道……真的是鼻窦？

RyoichiZB

Starting point?

It was just like, even we are together,
I can't give her any happiness in life...
Trying my very best to forget...
I know I'm just useless there...

Alcohol made me drunk,
it's the first time I drunk,
Thanks for inviting me for the heavy alcohol session,
I was able to forget every single hard moment of my life...
I had release all the stresses and pain...
even though it was seems like yesterday...
I like the way I felt that moment...

there's too much lies between...
Not that I don't trust,
It's like, the truth is there, and she still lies...
Okay, just once okay, twice okay... tenth okay... 20,21,22...
Okay, telling myself that there must be something else happen that's why she lies
Okay, there isn't... Alright.... fine...
It's like when there's something someone hate, there's many reason saying no.
And I was like giving all sorts of reasons telling myself that, those ARE real.
And after concluding, I was just fucking waste of my time... It's fine.... I'm totally fine :)

Too much things in mind made me unable to sleep well...
I would like someone to care about what I felt...
And I know no one cares...
Perhaps my mask was wearing too thigh...
unable to release any more.

I guess my life has just went to a end point and also another starting point.
I would like someone that can understand my feeling.
and I haven't find that someone yet..
But I have already changed to another level of myself,
thanks...
I wouldn't easily accept, but I won't reject as well...
Capable opening my door, my life's yours.

Dream continues,
Life continues...

RyoichiZB

Ending?

Yeah, I walk alone... so what...?

After long consideration,
"Yes, I should do something for myself..."
"Yeah, It's hard to choose what I should do..."
"Face Your Fear and doubts, a new world will open to you..."
This is life...

Just realize there's no need for one to show how much love is...
Just observing and seeing her happy, is all I need...
I doesn't wish anything anymore,
I know I can't give anything she want...
I'm just another passer-bys...
Even if we get together, there'll not be any "happy" within us.

life is just hard, it's just fucked sometimes..
but when one think using a proper way...
life is simple... Just need to know when to let go...
There's no need for me to tell her I care...
even if I really does, what's the usage?

Silence is a very good start sometimes...
Coz I really doesn't know how to start a proper chat with anyone...
Yeah, lots hate me.
so what? I just need few real one.

Tears? It's just stupid to fall for someone... anyone...
Yeah, I'm stupid.

Change? Yeah, I think I need that.
For her...? somehow all the time yes...
Does this worth? Not at all....
Even I really succeeded...
It's still all goes the same way...
respect any choices she choose, is what I capable doing...

Doing so much?
somehow, everyone just told me I did all those that I shouldn't
I guess I'm just merely infatuation.

Wishes all the best.
steadily showing the best situation to everyone...

RyoichiZB